Rough week

I hate when I go so long that I don't know where to start. I should start with the passing of sweet Sammy Knight...but I can't seem to get the words into print. When I heard of Sammy's passing...(his amazing Momma sent me a text in the middle of the night, worried I would hear or read about it from someone else) it hurt so badly that it took me a while to come to terms with it...I had to wake Mark up and read the text to him numerous times before it fully sunk in. It hurt for many reasons, some to painful to get into....but what hurt the most was how this amazing, full of life inspiration could no longer be on this earth...how was that possible?! It made me go back to that dark place where I find so much anger at God...

As the weekend moved on I found myself trying so hard to get coverage for the kids so I could get myself to Houston for Sammy's funeral. I so badly wanted to be there to support Missy. On Sunday am Kyle woke up in the early morning vomiting badly with a slight temp. We really thought he had some sort of stomach flu and we started watching him closely. When his temp hit 102.6 on Sunday afternoon I realized that we had to hit the hospital. We were admitted and cultures were drawn. At this point he was in bad shape and it was becoming clear that this wasn't just a stomach bug, although I kept telling myself it could be just viral. I think in my heart I knew we had a line infection. When the cultures came back positive on Monday I don't think any of us were surprised. Because Kyle was needing more oxygen to maintain his sats we did a chest x ray...I could tell when the team came in something was up. His lungs looked ok on the x ray but what was troubling everyone was that it looked like his bowels were once again herniated (I'm not even sure that is a word) into his esophagus. I can say when I heard this I felt like vomiting. Clearly realizing that this would once again complicate his next surgery, not only do we have to fix that pocket that's forming in his esophagus and try to reverse the way his anatomy is plus also place the J tube, but now we have to fix ANOTHER hernia. They also told us that they really are convinced this is all mito and that we need to get to Columbus and figure some things out. We have our dates for Columbus and we will be meeting with surgery, gi and the mito specialist there. His surgery is scheduled for mid October which means we will be in Columbus for his birthday and probably Halloween. I'm not sure Mark or I have actually processed all this yet...we are so focused on clearing his line that we haven't totally come to terms with everything.

I know this is choppy and written terribly...I'm exhausted...worried and heart sick that Kyle will have to undergo another major surgery so far from home.

XOX
K