Tuesday, February 23, 2010

sadness

I should not be blogging..I should be sleeping, since in less then 2 hours I need to do Kyle's blood draw, but so much is heavy on my mind...on my heart.

Kyle had a terrible incident of pain tonight...sadly it took place while he was playing with Alex and Jack...I could hear him scream from where I was and I went running....he is hunched up in a ball surrounded by his brother and sister, who god love them jack is as close to him as possible covering his ears (screams scare him) and Alex is trying to get me some warm water to flush his tube with....I take over and try after a good 5 minutes to get him settled while Alex and Jack look on...never leaving his side. God, I love those kids. I am trying so hard to be a good Mom to them....I want them to all feel safe and to live and to be happy.

Alex's teacher called tonight...to tell me how worried Alex is for the upcoming trip, but her wonderful teacher wanted me to feel secure and know that she is in good hands and she will be watching out over her.....can't say enough good things about this teacher...as I was putting Alex to bed, I asked her what is upsetting her the most about the trip....and she said she's scared that Kyle won't come home with us. I have no words...none right now.

XO
Kate

19 comments:

Karri said...

Oh Kate,

I have no words either. That must be beyond heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
Always in my thoughts, and in my heart.
Hugs to you and Alex.

littlewonders said...

Huge hugs, my friend. Sending huge hugs.

S

Bronx Cataldo's said...

I am so proud of both Alex and Jack staying with their brother. I have had adults run out of the room crying when I could have used their help when Finnian is having a bad seizure. But like your children mine have come to their brothers rescue and stayed with him.
It is heart breaking when they voice their fears over a hospital stay. It does take your breath away.
Hugs from the Bronx,NY

Lauren said...

Oh Kate,

Like Karri, I have no words. My heart is with you.

Lauren

Shari said...

Oh Kate, no words! My heart is aching for you. Much love. You're a great Momma. Your children prove it.

Weerock said...

Oh Kate. That poor baby girl. I love her so. She is so wise beyond her years, yet still a little girl.

Poor Big. Again, the strongest little boy I have ever had the privilege to meet. He deserves only good things.

Love you guys.

Denise

Mel said...

Sweet Girl! We loved having her last weekend. I hope she had fun! The boys were funny when Mark came to pick her up. Kyle told me he was coming back soon so he could check out the rest of Casey's Thomas trains! :-) Love you guys!

The Phamily Matriarch said...

<3

Anonymous said...

I have none either Kate. Please know I am thinking of you and your precious family.

Hugs,
Yolonda

Amy said...

Sending your whole family love.

Amber said...

Oh that breaks my heart. Hang in there...many hugs and thoughts for you all.

Anonymous said...

Kate,
I am thinking of your family, as always.
Leigh

Robin said...

Sending you big hugs and lots of love! As always you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

Love ya,
Robin

Shawna said...

Kate,

I think it's a wonderful bond that Alex and Jack have with Kyle. He is lucky to have a sister, and brother who care SO much about him and a super Mom like you, Kate. Keep your head up! Columbus is around the corner... :)

Heidi said...

(((Kate))) Alex, bless her heart, caring so deeply for her brother. I often have to remind myself that this disease isnt just happening to Jack but to all of us. This affects all our kids, while dealing with confused feelings and asking many questions I cant answer. Just know so many are praying for your family tonight-
Heidi & Jack.

Julie said...

Oh Kate, this blog literally knocked the breath out of me. I am sending you all my love and strength.

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Jessica said...

Oh Kate, all I can do is read your entry and cry. My heart aches for all of you. Thinking of you all.

stacyat said...

Kate, I am so sorry Kyle and the rest of your family are having to go through this. I am in tears reading this, I can only imagine what it is like for you. I hope that this upcoming trip brings you answers, and solutions. Sending many many hugs your way.
Stacy